How Can I Better Myself? Take Control

July 30, 2012

 Pain is outside events and people controlling your actions.  For some people, that’s not painful, but somewhat pleasant.  Not making decision, not living with the consequences of their actions.  Some people seek this out.  You do not.  You strive to answer the question “how can I better myself?”  One answer, for you, is to have your input into these external events.


You will never control all of the external actions that affect you, because we live in a society that requires a certain amount of regulation.  But the decisions you feel intuitively should be yours – when you eat lunch, when you see your children, how you write a sentence in a letter – can be under your control.  You can have more influence over the events that influence you.  Taking control is also one of the most visible of several leadership characteristics.


Here are 5 steps you can take immediately to have a controlling influence on external events that influence you:

1.       Creative problem solving.  Look at situations that arise as problems to be solved rather than as stress or as pain.  Approaching it as a problem will kick your creative juices in. Your body and emotions react more positively to solving a problem than they do to fighting off stress.

2.       Time management.  Time management is actually self-discipline.  It is more than just “to do” lists and endless prioritization of tasks.  It is is the self-discipline of making and sticking to these lists.  It is the self-discipline of refusing new tasks that will detract you from what you are working on.

3.       Creative thinking.  Creative thinking is the next step above creative problem solving.  Using and developing this skill helps you anticipate rather than merely react.  It helps you create more and more attractive alternatives, rather than locking into a limited number of paths.

4.       Perspective.  This is the ability to look at situation from another’s point of view.  By using this consistently, you can see problems and solutions to the situation.  A good trial lawyer prepares his or her client’s case.  An exceptional trial lawyer prepares his or her opponent’s case, to see how to make the client’s case that much better.

5.       Focus on what you can control, not on what you cannot.  So much energy and time is wasted by people fuming and scheming about things they have no control over.  Think of how much farther along your own projects will be this week, if you spend all the time this week that you spent last week talking or worrying about things you have no control over.


Doing nothing is ceding control of your life and your dreams to someone’s life and dreams.  This is easy in the sense that you do not have to make decisions.  But it is hard because when you do have to make a decision, you won’t be able to.  Your dreams stay simply dreams, instead of becoming reality.  And taking control the wrong way can wreck your dreams and plans.  Being constantly confrontational or contrarian to people with organizational authority over your position is rarely productive.   Using the 5 steps above, you can oppose authority without being oppositional.


The solution is to have a comprehensive system that includes taking control as a key component.   Most people have a “system.”  These systems run the gamut from “sticking reminder notes on the computer” to “certified XYZ time-stress-project management expert.”   The key is to develop the system that works for you personally.   Martial arts like karate and judo teach specific moves and holds, but a black belt will combine those teachings into the system that is personal.   Using the tips in this article, combined with the skills and knowledge that you already possess, can help you create your personal system to implement the “how can I better myself?” objective.


STRESS JUDO COACHING is designed to be that comprehensive system.  The Yellow belt level is focused specifically on taking control of stress.  Designed around the exclusive progressive belt training system, this unique training and coaching program can be personalized, for you to reach your black belt potential. Just JOIN THE COMMUNITY using the box to the right (-->) and welcome!  

 
 
 

Leadership Characteristics: Set Goals

July 29, 2012
The popular image is that of the hard charging leader, making it up as he goes along.  Every decision is from the gut, and every decision is correct.  The reality is that real leaders actually have a plan, with a backup plan and then an alternate plan.  Plans are built around goals.  And goals are set by leaders before the plan gets laid.

One of the key leadership characteristics is not only to set goals, but to have all the members of his or her team participate.   The old way of leadership w...

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Leadership Characteristics: Anticipate!

July 25, 2012

Anyone can walk down a path with people following behind.  That is one way to be a leader.  Another way is to cut a path through the woods and have people follow.  Both of these are pretty brute forces methods, however.  A true leadership characteristic is not only to lead others down the path but to anticipate the correct path to follow.

Anticipation as a leader can come in the planning stages, when you have the courage to ask what if things go wrong.   Or it can come in the implementation,...


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Leadership Characteristics: Take Control

July 24, 2012

At one of those company retreat things, we were broken up into several groups and given “team building” tasks.   The last one involved the facilitator saying that we, as a group, had to get some spongy balls from one end of the room to the other, without throwing them.  So one person jumped out and immediately lined everyone up and told use how we were going to pass the balls, etc.  One person (okay, it was me!) looked at one of the tables and saw a vase.  I asked if we could put the ball...


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How Can I Better Myself? Control Energy

July 19, 2012

I told my daughter once that the secret to success is to focus and to finish.   Most people know this.  But too many people simply don’t have the energy to actually do this.  Pain is simply gassing out or losing focus because you just don’t have the energy to stay on task.  Few people equate "how can I better myself?" with managing your energy.  Focus and finish equals success. Wanting to focus and finish equals mediocrity.

Energy is not the rush you get by throwing lighter fluid on char...


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How Can I Better Myself? Get Fit

July 18, 2012

Pain is that being out of shape is painful.  If you don’t believe me, try this experiment.  Pick something off the floor and put it on the shelf above your head.  If you can do this without any discomfort, twisting or grunting, then congratulations.   You are not out of shape.  Yet.  

The physical pain of being out of shape will come later, and it will be really painful.  The heart attack. The diabetes.   The pulled hamstring.  And there’s the pain right now.  The loss of breath when you...


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How Can I Better Myself? Coach

July 16, 2012

Someone said that time is nature’s way of making sure that everything doesn’t happen at the same time.  Unfortunately, some of us are impatient and want everything to happen right now.  But there is pain associated with this attitude. That pain is that you feel all the weight of every possible perspective on your shoulders, all at one time.  Having a coach to give you perspective on the question “how can I better myself?” is one of the best ways to avoid this pain.

The greatest athle...


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How Can I Better Myself? Set Goals

July 14, 2012

Pain for you is drifting and wandering on someone else’s course.  Pain is letting other people determine not only what you will do, but exactly how you will do it.  This pain is personal to you.  You are probably baffled by seeing people around you accept this as the normal course of life.   For you, this is an abnormality that cannot be tolerated.  You can – and must – set your goals, along your own path to answering "how can I better myself?"

The goals you set individually do not hav...


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How Can I Better Myself? Anticipate!

July 11, 2012

“The best way to predict the future is to make it.”  If this is your attitude – and it is an exceedingly fine attitude to have – then the most painful thing to do to you is to put you in a situation where your future is murky and unclear and not under your control.  The best way to relieve your pain is for you to anticipate your future, even the parts that are intentionally hidden from you.

For most of us, the next step in anything we do is decided by someone else, who doesn’t feel...


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Six Types Of Meditation For Managing Workplace Stress

July 10, 2012

Meditation is one of the most effective weapons for managing workplace stress.  There are so many different types of meditation. How many? Who knows, but enough so that you can find the one that's right for you. How can I better myself?  Meditation helps. To get your search started, here are six types of meditation you can try.

1. Breath watching. Can meditating be as simple as paying attention to your breath for a few minutes? You bet. Relax in whatever position works best for you, close yo...


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STRESS JUDO COACHING will help you attack stress with judo principles: turning the power of the attacker (stress) against it. Be calm as a Black Belt in the face of chaos and focused as a trial attorney under pressure.

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